The Coco Chanel quote “A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life” couldn’t be more true. The Big Chop actually did change my life. I know you guys are used to the beauty reviews, outfit posts and all of that superficial stuff. But I’m going to get a little personal. This is a personal blog ya know lol. I usually don’t like to let people all up in my business but I just wanted to shed a little light in case someone else is going through something similar and needs encouragement. Who would of thought that a break up would make me me happy. Aren’t I supposed to be sad?
I will admit that I was for a little while. I went from feeling sad, to angry. And then it dawned on me that I’m actually happy. I haven’t been this happy in years, I mean truly happy.
Honestly, I haven’t truly felt like myself in years. Like I lost myself in that relationship. I didn’t realize that I wasn’t doing a lot of the things that I usually like to do. I wasn’t catering to my own feelings and needs. Trying so hard to make sure that someone else was happy. When all along I wasn’t happy. I was trying my hardest to make a relationship that never seemed quite right from jump work out. You know when the negatives outweigh the positives, but you try to ignore or overlook the negative and focus on the positive to make things look better? I’m rambling I know. But I’m just trying to explain how deep inside my female intuition told me that things weren’t right, but I ignored it. Word to the wise ladies, always follow your mind as sometimes your heart will lead you wrong.
I honestly thought that God was testing me to see if I could handle the thick and thin. The good and the bad of a relationship. So I kept on trying harder and harder to give life to something that had died a long time ago. All while slowly dying inside. I remember one night I cried myself to sleep and I just asked God to give me a sign, then He made things as clear as day. I won’t go into any personal details of the relationship or the breakup as those details are just that, personal… But I’ve noticed that since the split I’ve been doing all of the things that I love to do again and focusing a lot more on MY needs.
Never lose yourself in a relationship. I never want to feel that way again and when I do decide to be in a relationship with someone else, my relationship with myself will remain my top priority.
I’ve wanted to do the big chop for a few years now but my ex wasn’t for it and stupid me didn’t do it to please him. Looking back, this was new behavior for me as I’ve ALWAYS done what I wanted. Never letting a man dictate how I wear my hair, how I dress or what I do. Just another example of losing myself. Do to my diagnosis with Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis (you can read more about it in my big chop post) I had decided that I was going to take the plunge and do the big chop this year. I didn’t care what he would think (or anyone else for that matter) as it was something that I needed to do for me. The break up just happened to come before the big chop so I didn’t have to deal with what he thought. How convenient.
“A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life“
-Coco Chanel
I can’t really explain it. But I feel like a brand new person since chopping off my hair and joining team natural. Combined with the breakup, I’ve never felt more in touch with myself. Like this is where I was supposed to be all along. I’m more confident and comfortable in my skin than I’ve ever been. I can honestly say that I feel like I’ve truly found myself. My true self. And it’s the greatest feeling in the world.
36 Responses
Thank you for this Erica and God bless you!!! God will not allow a good thing to leave us. If its truly meant for us then it will stay with us.. Have a good day!
You are very welcome, Char. Thank you so much for your kind words, I really appreciate it!
Love this post!! You are beautiful!!!
Thank you so much, Malaika!
Niece you are absolutely beautiful inside and out and you deserve happiness. So glad you discovered your true self. Love u girl!
Thanks so much Auntie. I love you too! xo
You look amazingly radiant and I’m glad you are happy.
Awww thank you, Venessia!
High five to you sister! I just went through a break up and I hope to be over him soon! I’m not chopping my hair off, LOL, but I am starting anew…back to me, back to God!
Lol at not chopping your hair off. You are on the right path and you will be just fine. Wishing you an abundance of happiness in the future! xo
thanks for sharing something so personal. GIRL i have been there, seeing this new you makes me very happy
You are very welcome and thank you so much. So many of of go through these things and don’t talk about it… feeling embarrassed, ashamed or just not wanting people in our business. I figured if I shared my story that hopefully I can touch someone 🙂
Can we say Body On Fleek!!!!! Yasssssss girl you are stunning! And this post was the story of my life not too long ago. However I would’ve never been brave enough to share so thank you!! You have no idea how much this post will help those in similar situations. Keep up the great work with your blog. You’re very inspiring. God Bless.
Thank you Liz. I am so glad that I can be an inspiration. I was very apprehensive about posting this and had to build up the courage after contemplating for a few weeks. I figured why not use my outlet and voice, even if I could help just one other person. You never know what others are going through. My family and friends didn’t even know what I was dealing with because I wouldn’t even talk to them.
Very Inspiring story, that I can truly relate to. I admire your courage to share. It takes a real woman to take a leap of faith and speak about the things in our lives that aren’t so rosy. I always say to people behind my pretty face things aren’t always pretty , but as women we have perfected hiding behind a pretty face & a smile not speaking about the ugly. God Bless you for your strength!!! 🙂 Thank You For Sharing !
You’re welcome Lakeba… And thank you, I could not have said it better! 🙂
So wonderful to hear. Your last 8 posts or so have been so awesome. I haven’t commented but I’m subscribed to your blog so I read every post. This new cut, plus your spirit, looks good on you. God bless, dear! And continue to thrive!!!!
Thank you so much Kwmechelle for your kind words and continued support! xo
Congrats brave lady! I stayed in a marriage for 13 years and completely lost myself. I ignored every sign that it wasn’t healthy and held on for my daughter. Went to counselor after counselor. Things ended last summer. He moved out – I was terrified, in anguish, and grieving. I guess he thought I would keep begging him to come back and make it work. One day it just occurred to me – “Let it go”. I told him I wanted a divorce and ended things for good. I have never felt so free and so ‘me’ in so long! My mother told me, “Don’t ever be any man’s puppet ever again.” It stung. But she was right. Now, I’m better for my daughter and for myself. Thanks for sharing this 🙂 – AJ
You’re welcome and thank you so much for sharing your story. You just struck something in me as this could have easily been my story in the future. I wanted so badly to get married and settled down that I was willing to settle even though I wasn’t happy and the relationship wasn’t right for me. What if I had ended up marrying him? This probably would have been me.
Although I know this was tough for you, I’m glad that you had the courage to put yourself first. I wish you and your daughter nothing but happiness and blessings 🙂
This post is very inspirational. I have gone through a similar situation. You truly don’t understand how this post has helped me alot
I am so glad that my post could help you, Sasha. Everything will be okay and trust me, you will be fine! 🙂
Thank you for sharing your story. I recently broke up with my bf too. I too was trying to make a wrong situation right. The things we do for love. You look fabulous with your natural hair. 🙂
Thank you so much hun… Tell me about smh. But don’t worry, you will be fine 🙂
I commend your courage and applaud your transperancy. When so many are using their social media platforms to promote foolery and negativity, it’s refreshing to see you sharing your story that will help and encourage others to be true to themselves. Keep sparkling and I wish you nothing but great things ahead. You look fabulous. I discovered your channel on YouTube and have admired your style
Thank you so much for your kind words and the support, Diahann 🙂
Girl, I’ve been there too. Staying in a relationship that wasn’t making me happy. We were engaged and I was determined to make it work and walk down that aisle. In my scenario, “Bae” decides to go to Atlantic City with the boys overnight without any notice and not answering his phone (oh hell no!). When he got back to NYC @ 12 Noon the next day, the locks were changed and his bags were packed. His parents were even upset at his behavior. Instead of feeling sad and blue, I felt like a weight had been lifted (200 lbs. 6 ‘1 worth lol). I followed my intuition and never looked back. I definitely dodged a bullet. I read somewhere that your intuition is God whispering in your ear. TFS and stay strong.
I would have done the same thing in your situation as that was totally inappropriate. I don’t know what be going through these guys heads, or maybe they just don’t think at all. I’m glad that you are doing fine and thank you for your encouragement.
You are so right, I’ve heard of Intuition being God’s whisper as well and I believe. It has not only helped me with relationship trouble but helped me to avoid danger at times… One of which was avoiding getting caught in the middle of a crossfire with my son. So trust me, I believe it 🙂
Wow I love the hairstyle. Really cute.
What do you donto make it looks so regular? So perfect on the top?
Thank you so much for sharing this story.
Wow I love your hairstyle. Really cute.
What do you donto make it looks so regular? So perfect on the top?
Awesome!! Change is necessary to birth new beginnings.
Amen to that. Thank you!
I recently transition from a perm to natural . It is liberating. I feel free at last in my spirit
Congrats! ☺️
I am in this place. GOD asked me why iam settling and a year ago I ended an 8 year relationship. My goal for 2021 is to do the big chop. I had my locs for about 13 years. I am excited to embark on this new journey!
Best wishes on your new journey! ❤️