Stop Being So Hard On Yourself. Clap For Yourself Instead.

How To Wear A Waist Bag We are our own worst critics. This is something that I’ve really come to realize this year. You guys may have noticed that I haven’t been posting as much over the last few weeks. I’ve also been less active than usual on social media. I’ve just been feeling very overwhelmed. My desk is overflowing with new products that I’d like to review for you guys. But I haven’t had time to photograph anything because my schedule has been so wonky. I’ve also been dealing with a family matter. Along with redoing my son’s room. And scheduling lot’s of hair clients. It’s not that I can’t handle it all, I simply need to find balance.

Don't Be So Hard On Yourself

However, this is not what I was telling myself in the mist of feeling overwhelmed. I’ve been extremely hard on myself. Instead of admitting that I’m tired, I tell myself that I’m lazy. Meanwhile, I average 4 hours of sleep a night. So I am tired and rightfully so. But I somehow got this idea in my head that it’s normal to always be working and not get any sleep. It’s part of being a hustler. This is not normal. We need a sufficient amount of sleep to juggle all of the things in our lives. If not we can literally fall ill. So I’m learning that some things will just have to wait until tomorrow (or next week). And that my rest and (physical & mental) health is more important.

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Speaking of mental health, not only do we need to rest, we must also take time for self care. I haven’t been styling my hair as regularly. Or keeping up with my nails. Relaxing and watching my shows. None of the little things that I like to do to keep myself feeling and looking good, and to maintain my sanity. Everything else was more important. I had to remember that I am my number one priority. I can’t take care of anyone or anything else if I’m not in the right mental space. So I’m making sure to carve out time for self care. Even if it’s just an hour.

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I had to take a step back, really look at my accomplishments, and clap for myself. It’s damn hard balancing being a single mom with a full time job, along with running multiple small businesses. All while trying to carve out time for self care AND have a social life. But I do it. And I know now that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and be tired. I just take time time for myself and recharge, then get back to business. It’s all about balance. See my post How To Be A Boss Chick Without Burning Yourself Out.

I said all this to say, don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s okay to give yourself a pat on the back when you work hard. You deserve it, so give credit where it’s due. Clap for yourself.


When I’m not hunting down the latest and greatest beauty products, beating a face or lacing a do, you can find me roaming the streets of NYC in my stilettos looking for the next best restaurant. Or in the kitchen trying to outdo myself from the last time.



  1. Nyree
    05.23.2018 / 12:09 pm

    Love this post! I have been feeling the same way—a very close friend of mine was telling me that I’m too hard on myself. I’m so busy to accomplish what’s on my list, that I forget to celebrate the things that I’ve already accomplished. I just jump to one hustle to the next without taking a break or taking part in self care. As a single mother with a full-time, a huslte and my twin teenagers busy schedule, I know all about that sleep deprivation—-it ain’t a joke!

    I agree with you and I’m clapping for you! Self care is paramount, let us not forget it!

    • Erica
      05.23.2018 / 1:40 pm

      Thanks sis. I’m clapping for you as well. I know with one teenager it’s tough, so kudos to you for handling two. I’m happy that you received this post right on time! xo

  2. Nikkole
    05.24.2018 / 7:06 pm

    👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏I’m clapping for all my sistas! Your great! I’m figuring out the money situation on sending my baby well young man off to college in August. I’ve been down right mean to myself. Through it all I had to take some me time to get myself together so I could jump back into life. Your an inspiration keep being you…👏👏👏

    • Erica
      05.25.2018 / 9:05 am

      Awww thank you so much. Congrats to your baby going off to college (they will always be our babies). Everything will work out!

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